How do children feel about divorce?

In Tennessee and throughout the world, divorce is a fact of life. You may be one of many who married years ago with such a thought being furthest from your mind, only to realize, years later, that your relationship was in trouble. Perhaps too, you tried several ways to overcome your marital problems but ultimately determined that your most viable option was to file for divorce.  

Like most good parents, you want to help your children cope in as healthy a manner as possible. Children often see the world quite differently from adults, so to avoid serious problems and provide strong support for your kids, it can help to learn more about perspectives children often have when their parents get divorced.   

Children are not adults  

While it’s good to have a close relationship with your children, it may not be such a good idea to share too many details with them about your divorce. The following list includes issues many children have said caused them distress:  

  • When parents refuse to speak to each other and, instead, use children as messengers, it often causes kids tremendous stress.  
  • If one parent tries to turn children away from the other parent, it can cause confusion and mixed feelings about loyalty in their hearts.  
  • Children often say that when one parent intentionally tries to make things difficult for the other parent, it winds up making things difficult for the kids because they feel stuck in the middle.  
  • Some parents think that giving their children expensive gifts will “make up” for the disappointment they feel about the divorce; however, many children say they resent it when a parent tries to buy their love.   

Your family is unique and you know your children better than anyone. They may have good days and some, not so good, as you move on to a new lifestyle together. Another issue than can cause great stress and worry for children concerns legal matters.

Don’t let problems linger

If your kids know that you are going to court to fight over them, they may feel afraid about their future or may even feel that they are to blame for your divorce. The more swiftly you resolve such matters, the better. If you and your ex disagree, however, things can get quite complicated. That’s why many Tennessee parents rely on experienced legal support rather than try to battle things out on their own.