There are those who divorce that say they understand why it happened. Perhaps there was infidelity, or money problems. They may even tell you that they knew divorce was imminent.
Other people claim that they had no idea that their spouse wanted to end things. Maybe they believed everything was fine in the relationship and had no indication anything was wrong until it was too late. However, if you're concerned about your marriage, experts say that there are several telltale signs that a couple could wind up in divorce court.
One main concern that experts see in problematic relationships is a difficulty in communicating. For example, if spouses are prone to using the "silent treatment" when they disagree, it can completely shut down any avenue of communication. Some people may think that they're giving themselves and their spouses valuable time to calm down, but it can actually have the opposite effect.
The frequency of communication isn't only what's important; the depth of conversation also matters. Couples who talk about simple subjects like the weather or household chores may start to feel more like roommates than spouses. Good listening is also key. It's crucial that both spouses feel heard and valued in a relationship, which may not be the case if the other spouse fails to actively listen.
Another category that spouses need to consider is best described as behavior. Certain negative behaviors such as nitpicking or never saying "yes" to any of your spouse's suggestions can breed resentment. It is important that spouses feel safe being vulnerable to one another, but these kinds of behaviors can prevent that.
If spouses are prone to rolling their eyes at one another, it can also signal that one person feels contempt for the other. Body language in general is important and those who continually exhibit closed off body language can alienate a spouse. The spouse may begin to feel as though the other person doesn't value him or her.
Too much technology
The rise of smartphone use and social media seems to be leading to a drop in face-to-face communication in all kinds of relationships, but it is particularly detrimental to a marriage. Spouses may begin to feel as though they are not a priority to the other person. In a similar vein, if quality time together as a couple is affected by technology, or any other factors, it can lead to a break down in the relationship. It may take work, but it is important in ensuring that spouses feel connected.
None of these factors instantly mean that a couple here in Tennessee is destined to divorce. However, if you're thinking of getting a divorce for any reason, it is important that you consider what your future will look like. Involving an impartial, professional third party may give you the peace of mind to start this new chapter in your life.